oh man... accidentally overheard something i shouldn't. mom was telling aunt tt my granddad was hoping tt he'll die faster cuz since he's very sick and all and causing my grandma lotsa probs. grandma on the other hand hopes she'll go first cuz she dun wanna be suffering and alone.(she has lotsa health probs too) what am i gonna do??!!! kinda touching and all cuz of their selflessness but wth! i dun want either of em to go! i dun want! they can recover one lors! it's all in the mind!! they juz need something meaningful and constructive to do tt's all! dun see how some ppl can live to 80+ and still be so healthy whereas MY gramps gotta suffer. unfair. life's a big puzzle tt everyone except yourself gets to cheat at.
at this point im also beginning to wonder who will bother if i die. i noe my parents will. a parent's love is boundless. but what about my friends? will they be upset at all?? truthfully mans. how about people i've been close to since psch-wendy, juliet and edna? how abt my sec sch pals-sally, prick, tqi, char, yf, van, may?? how abt those ppl who've asked me this qns and i gave them a truthful ans-van and tai? how abt my guiding friends who've gone thru think and thin together with me-sandra, cheryl, geok, wee min, manda...?? will they even care? it's easy to live a life, make friends, die. but in how many hearts have you left your footprints in? honestly i really dun think i've done enough as a person. i've let so many people down, esp my folks, din put in enough effort as a friend, wasn't there when my pals needed me, didn't trust enough, didn't have faith and much much more. of hundreds of people i noe i doubt i mean anything to like 99.99%? hehs.. this sux.
i noe this is really overdued but someone once said "who you are makes a difference". the people i've mentioned above and a few more? who you are makes a difference. to me at least. you've taught me alot even tho sometimes you dun realise it, you've helped me tide thru lotsa stuff, was moral support etc etc.. hehs.. :p