feeling kinda screwed up. have been getting this more often than not these days though there's nothing i can think of that's incurring it. other than my shitty results that is but well, tt's kinda common for me. other times, i'm feeling like i'm just living this existence. doing something without knowing what i'm doing it for; what it'll lead to. i mean what if i walk out to the road outside my house and get killed by a car? then everything's for nothing. hell, i wouldn't even care. i say i'd die without regrets cause there's nothing i'd die for. don't even know what exactly am i living for. or mebbe it's just another lousy phase i'm going through.
anws, i got this from quek's blog. kinda interesting if you overlook the fact that love at first sight is essentialy pure, physical lust.
They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.
Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways-
perhaps they've passed each other a million times?
I want to ask them
if they don't remember-
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?-
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.
They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.
Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.
There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?
There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.
Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.
"Love at First Sight" - Wislawa Szymborska
